Mondays Are For Maintenance

A manager rushed into the break room, then pulled me aside and asked about some CRM shoe-in we needed “by the end of the day”. Obviously, this guy was out of the loop on the entire team’s schedule. Typical for a wagie wrangler… Now, I will let YOU know that I don’t drink coffee. However, most wagies do and since it was early in the morning… I had an excuse. I had to let him know.

“No.” I said. The 2 letter word hitting him like a bullet hits the chest of an inner city black boy surrounded by corrupt cops. “Not possible.” I stared in his eyes, watching “the man’s” demeanor turn from confidence to desperation. He stumbled: “But, but c-suite sai-. if you don’t do-”. I stood my ground, “Look. Do I have to explain this to you? I haven’t even had my coffee yet.” My hands trembled from adrenaline as I placed my glasses on. Break over.

“Timothy, out. Jessica, go outside.” I wasn’t about to let the interns witness what was about to happen. Then I started…

“Last Friday you told us to build the Atlantis service. The entire team dove down into the depths of the abyss to find it. Build it. It’s a house now. You have this big beautiful house. A mansion even… You want the mansion to keep its value and stay warm and comfy. So what do you do? You clean it. Take out the trash. Fix it when something goes wrong. Over the weekend your mansion faced some wear and…