I Used To Work At Google. Now I Flip Burgers.

“Do you want fries with that?” The customer in front of me had just finished ordering. Management says that you can never be too sure. So you have to ask... I just give the people what they want. Of course, that always backfires on me.

I remember the day that a lone Google Recruiter came marching into my life. It’s so unsuspecting to see the words “Direct Hire” in the subject line of your inbox after four months have passed since you applied. No time to complain though. You get one chance. I took it. Five rounds later, I became a Noogler.

The team I was placed on was called Area 120, Google’s Internal Incubator. Area 120 was a place where any Googler could pitch an idea and get it funded: You hire a team. Obtain cash. Then get 6 months to prove yourself to the world. Successful products get “acquired” by Google and provided dedicated time. You end up with loads of money when all goes well.

On my first week of the job, Google was reported to “slash its internal incubator by 50%.” No one reached out to see if I was OK. That’s fine. My manager — who worked at Google for 9 years — told me that this information was inaccurate: We actually closed 7 out of…