Open in app

Sign In

Write

Sign In

SwitchUpCB
SwitchUpCB

240 Followers

Home

About

Pinned

The SwitchUpCB Medium Story Guide

Learn how to navigate the stories from this author. — You can use SwitchUpCB’s Medium Lists to find stories similar to the ones you love. Sign up for the email newsletter for story notifications. Become a Medium member for access to every story on Medium. Author This Is SwitchUpCB Read the writer's greatest stories on Medium. Entertaining.switchupcb.medium.com The SwitchUpCB Life There is no doubt that these stories are real.switchupcb.medium.com

1 min read

1 min read


Published in

The Shortform

·May 27

Why It’s More Acceptable to Insult Height vs. Weight

The optics of insulting physical traits and personal decisions. — Weight is controllable. Height is not. So why is insulting someone’s height more acceptable than insulting their weight? A lack of accountability. You can control your weight through diet and exercise. So insulting someone’s weight is a judgment against their personal decisions (to be unhealthy). You cannot control your height…

Culture

1 min read

Why It’s More Acceptable to Insult Height vs. Weight
Why It’s More Acceptable to Insult Height vs. Weight
Culture

1 min read


May 25

How To Fuck Your Couch

Being home alone has never been more exciting. — Using your hands can get boring. Scientists have discovered a new way for men to engage in pleasurable experiences by themselves. Here is how! Step 1. Locate a couch with adjustable cushions. Step 2.* Prepare the couch by grabbing a towel and lay it in a circle around a gap…

Relationships

1 min read

How To Fuck Your Couch
How To Fuck Your Couch
Relationships

1 min read


May 25

Do What Makes You Money

Don’t “Do What Makes Money.” Do What Makes YOU Money. Misunderstanding the difference can cost you your LIFE. — As a child, adults always told me to focus on school. The implication behind this advice is that a college degree will get you a job that pays you a “respectable” income. In other words, “do what makes money.” This advice fell flat on its face because all personal advice…

Life

3 min read

Do What Makes You Money
Do What Makes You Money
Life

3 min read


May 25

The Truth About What’s Next For Me

A huge grind: Almost none of it will be rewarding. — When it comes to music, my progress has become correlated with how many resources I have. So while I have room for improvement in my music’s quality, all that matters is that I make more money. There are a few options that I’ve yet to execute: After that, skilling is…

Self

2 min read

The Truth About What’s Next For Me
The Truth About What’s Next For Me
Self

2 min read


May 25

What Will I Do Next

I ran away from home. Now what? — Video games are modeled after the world we live in. Pokémon has a God, Arceus, who created the universe using Palkia (Space), Dialga (Time), and Giratina (Antimatter). The world’s landmass is built by Groudon, and Kyogre brings its oceans. Mew was the first Pokémon to be created, and it contains…

Self

6 min read

What Will I Do Next
What Will I Do Next
Self

6 min read


Apr 1

Google Advises Against AGPL Fools

The tech giant prefers developers to avoid participating in this event. — Developers in the Open Source Software (OSS) community are changing the license of their software to the AGPLv3 license in celebration of April Fools’. Tech giants such as Google are advising against this behavior. Here is what you need to know. What Is The AGPL License? The GNU Affero General Public License (AGPL) is a…

Programming

4 min read

Google Advises Against AGPL Fools
Google Advises Against AGPL Fools
Programming

4 min read


Mar 25

Why I Rewrote It In Rust

The reason that I rewrote all the software I work on in Rust. — The manager scheduled an unexpected meeting for the entire team: It would be 20 minutes long on a Friday, right before a huge company announcement was scheduled. It’s safe to say that no one was amused at this notification due to ongoing economic events. People speak of The Arctic and…

Programming

5 min read

Why I Rewrote It In Rust
Why I Rewrote It In Rust
Programming

5 min read


Mar 23

All Those Followers, No Stars

A poem about people with lots of followers on GitHub, but no stars. — I see you’re very popular with the developer community. But this doesn’t mean you can walk around with impunity. Corporate might pay you in currency your government generates at the click of a button. But these stars can only be created when someone is inspired or something. So fuck you…

Programming

1 min read

All Those Followers, No Stars
All Those Followers, No Stars
Programming

1 min read


Mar 23

How To Reduce Your Webpage Size

Learn how to reduce the size of a webpage using Browser Developer Tools. — Studies show that every 100-millisecond delay in website loading times hurts conversion rates by 7%. In addition, page speed is one of the most critical factors in search engine ranking. One aspect of your page speed is the time it takes to download the page. …

Programming

3 min read

How To Reduce Your Webpage Size
How To Reduce Your Webpage Size
Programming

3 min read

SwitchUpCB

SwitchUpCB

240 Followers

You.

Help

Status

Writers

Blog

Careers

Privacy

Terms

About

Text to speech

Teams